I want to build a time machine.
I want to build a time machine and take it back to, oh, 1989-1992ish. I want to meet, personally, with every Yankee fan who is sitting around and loyally following the teams that seemed to invent new ways of acheiving mediocrity. I especially want to meet with people around my age, who don't remember the late 70s or any other World Series winning year, but DO remember the Mets winning in 1986 and all their friends suddenly becoming Mets fans and mocking their Yankee fan friends for staying with the Bombers.
I want to see these people sitting in front of a TV, as the Yanks' best pitcher, Melido Perez, with a crackerjack 13-16 record (and a nice 2.86 era) because his team can't back him up offensively when he's on the mound. And then after that season, he slides down into suckiness himself and can't get past 9 wins. I want to see them marveling at Mel Hall's team-leading 80 RBI, and their second baseman and shortstop combining for an astounding 56 RBI. I want to see them cheering Steve Farr, because all they know in recent history is a closer whose high-water mark of season saves was 30 in his tenure on the Yanks. I want to see them watching postseasons with their American League rivals, the A's and the Twins and the Blue Jays walking away victorious. Postseasons that seem so achingly far away for the Yankees in their current state.
I want to stand in front of their TV and turn off WPIX or MSG, because an all-Yankees network doesn't exist yet. I want to look them in the eye, see that sad frustration and tell them it's going to be beyond all right. That it's going to be freaking awesome in a few years. I want to tell them that for SEVENTEEN YEARS, starting in 1995, they will see at least one playoff series in every year but one. I want to tell them about these freakishly good home-grown players named Jeter and Rivera and Pettitte and Posada who are coming up through the system, and that Bernie Williams metamporphasizes from a confused kid into one of most graceful, best-hitting outfielders they will ever see. I want to tell them that there will be a victory parade in lower Manhattan FIVE TIMES in that 17-year era. That's right, FIVE more than their Met fan friends will have seen in this span.
I want to tell them that in 2012, the Yanks will lose their god-like closer early on, lose half the lineup at various times to injury, lose their grip a bit in September, but grit it out and stay on top and hold off the hard-charging Orioles. I want to tell them that they win the first round of the playoffs (one game in dramatic, amazing fashion) and make it to the ALCS.
And then I want to tell these folks of 20-23 years past that they will not be content with a visit to the ALCS. They will also DEFINITELY not be content with being down two games to none, and that they are probably booing every player who has been struggling offensively (and that is not even to bring up them booing a guy for botching a play... and blaming him for Jeter getting hurt later that inning, on a play he had nothing to do with), because suddenly it is about booing the money AND the man, when they'd staunchly defend the Yankees payroll and salaries when they were "good". I will tell them that they won't show up at post-season games in the ALCS because they are "frustrated" with the team's lack of offense...while the pitching is as good as it has ever been.
I will tell them that winning has become everything to them and that they will not tolerate anything else but a World Series championship title, even when there are other extremely good teams out for that title as well and refuse to be like "Hey, it's the Yankees. Let's give them some fat pitches to hit, man."
I want to see their faces when I tell them that they behave like entitled, raging crybabies, all because the Yankees made the ALCS and fell apart in the first two games. I want to tell them it's one thing to be frustrated with a team, but another to just be a total brat about it, to adopt a mob-like mentality over it, to seem as if you are just getting in on a new trend. But no one sees it this way, because this behavior is suddenly acceptable and encouraged. From a fanbase that has seen more good times than ANY OTHER TEAM IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL. IN ANY OTHER SPORT, PERIOD.
And when they look at me all horrified and say, "Are you f***ing kidding me?" I will respond with an "Exactly."
I will then climb back into my time machine, and set it for 2012, the day of Game 3 of the ALCS. It will be the day that I know there's still time left to pull something out, but should the Yanks not make it out of this round, it won't ruin my life.
Because I fail to see how something that has given me such joy, for such an extended period, could ever be something I spit upon.
