I feel the need to blog about a momentous occasion: That time I had a wisdom tooth pulled... four days ago.
You're all, "What? You didn't have your wisdom teeth taken out 20 years ago with everyone else your age?" Or "Yawn. Why aren't we talking about the Yankees and their apparent voodoo health hex?" But I have to discuss it because I, the queen of avoidance of all things physically painful (you think I got around having any of those wisdom teeth pulled for 20 years by sheer luck alone? Nay, it was all about well-plotted denial), bucked up and voluntarily had this thing pulled. With NO ANESTHESIA. The rogue tooth was in need of pulling but not impacted, hence why I was not put to sleep - but I denied getting laughing gas too. No, I was not going to exit that office high as a kite and drool-y, where I might wander down the road to that restaurant where that cute bartender works and chat him up while he got ready for the lunch shift, all the while gross, nasty gauze falling out of my mouth unbeknowst to me because I'm feelin' fiiiiiiine. Yeah, that was SO NOT happening. So I was all aware of what was going on and felt like a human wine bottle with an incredibly stubborn cork as the (very nice) oral surgeon yanked and twisted at said tooth and finally popped that sucker out like it was New Year's Eve or something.
I was all on top of the world after that, you guys. I mean, I had no pain at all, thanks to the novocaine, and I had been psyching myself up (read: freaking myself out in every possible way) for weeks up till that moment. The worst was over! I could go home and watch some TV! Eat some soup and other non-chewable foods! Tweet/Facebook something funny and/or relatable to the human plight of having extra teeth we don't even need! I could also FEEL THE WORST PAIN OF MY LIFE when the novocaine wore off. No, really. I've had molars pulled (before I got braces), broken my wrist, twisted my ankle to the point that my foot swelled up to like three times its size, split my chin open and cut my ankle to the point where I saw the bone. No, none of that hurt as much as having been a human wine bottle. And I only had ONE tooth taken. If it had been all four? Good lord, I would've sobbed like a baby. I'm not kidding. Although, I later read you should take your pain killers BEFORE the pain starts in, so I'll remember that for... nope, the rest are staying RIGHT where they are.
The crazy thing is, despite that pain, I decided not to take the percocet the surgeon prescribed - I needed to be aware and have my faculties in case The Chicken decided he was going to start dealing the oxy from right there in our apartment while I was passed out. Instead, I went with the heavy-duty ibuprofen he gave me and that, awesomely, did the trick. But that initial pain. Oh my goodness. I am SO keeping the rest of these wisdom teeth for as long as humanly possible, because I am brave enough to be a human wine bottle, but I lack the courage to deal with it three fold. No. Way.
But as a personal victory? Why yes, I do have to celebrate that. Because that sucker sure as shooting isn't going back in, so, clearly, I won.
