And here we are, the finale of this most meaningful countdown to ever hit the blogosphere. (Is that still a thing? I've been out of the game for awhile. I don't know what that blog slang is anymore.) The shocking: There's no Bruce! Or MJ! Or Madonna! The not-so shocking: There IS Kool and the Gang. Always.
10. Drive, The Cars - I will sometimes sing this, sarcastically, when the Yankees leave runners on base (Who's gonna drive you home tonight, Miguel Andujar, all stranded there on second base?), but it's one of the most lovely "sad" songs of the 80s, and therefore I like it un-sarcastically too.
9. Let's Dance, David Bowie - If you guessed that this made it onto the list because it's a - wait for it - summer song, you're right! It's actually one of the first songs I associate with summer, probably because in 1983 I'd just finished that back-breaking effort that is kindergarten and appreciated having some much deserved "me time," and thus helped me distinguish the awesomeness of summer vs. the slog of the school year.
8. Separate Ways, Worlds Apart, Journey - My biggest, far-out-there wish would be to do a shot-by-shot recreation of this video...with the Yankee Chicken and his friends. This would likely take months and, oh, alienate me from a lot of people (I can picture many of you slooowwwwwly stepping away from the crazy lady and stuffed chicken with a fake mullet). Anyway, say what you will about the video (and there's lots to be said since it is epic in ALL ways), but this song is bad-ass.
7. Don't Dream It's Over, Crowded House - Melancholy never sounded so good. I am also physically incapable of getting sick of this song.
6. I Melt With You, Modern English - How this only peaked at 78 on the Billboard Hot 100 is mind-boggling. But this was in a time when there was some really odd soft-rock stuff going on - a post-disco hangover, I guess - and maybe America wasn't really ready for it yet.
5. Fresh, Kool and the Gang - You're probably like, "KB, you only put this song this high because they're from Jersey City," and I'm like, "Uh, do you have ears? This song is freaking good." (It's a particularly good walking song, if you're into those. And even better when you're walking through Jersey City!)
4. Everybody Wants to Rule the World, Tears for Fears - I feel like Shout was the inescapable TFF song in 1985, but this one still holds up so well. "Welcome to your life, there's no turning back" is a most evergreen opening statement that there could be.
3. Kyrie, Mr. Mister
1980s KB: I don't know what this song means but I think it's religious and it hit number one right before I'm receiving my first communion, so I'm taking this as a personal shoutout.
21st Century KB: The key change toward the end is basically life-affirming and everything that's great about 80s music.
2. Your Love, The Outfield - Before this was co-opted by 20something frat boys - who weren't even alive when this was released - on drunken nights out, this was, yep, an EXCELLENT summer song. If space aliens who have the technology to come to Jersey City but not to, like, research our history were to land on my roof and be like, "What did the 80s sound like?" I'd play them this. And then try to explain to them why summer songs are usually >>>> than songs from any other time of year.
1. Easy Lover, Philip Bailey and Phil Collins - Yes, this is THE best song of the entire decade. In my mind. You can air-guitar AND air-drum to it. You've got the EWF/Genesis crossover. The harmonies are killer and it's sung with complete conviction (this lady is going to ruin your damn life if you don't heed the warning of Philip and Phil, guys). The video is a goofy "behind-the-scenes" jaunt that I distinctly remember being riveted by as a kid (I'd post it but the song is weirdly sped up, so sad trombone on that). Like, this song is an EVENT. Nay, this song is a motherf***ing GIFT. Got a hold on you, believe it INDEED.
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